


Is it time already? (Hunter x Hunter Fanfiction)

by WisteriaPuff



Category: Hunter X Hunter, Killugon - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Boys In Love, Chances, Demons, Falling In Love, Gay, High School, Killugon - Freeform, LGBTQ Character, Love, M/M, Romance, Sweet, Yaoi, discovering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24180739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WisteriaPuff/pseuds/WisteriaPuff
Summary: (Disclaimer: I do not own Hunter x Hunter. Kudos to the creator!Note: HunterXHunter is set to a normal setting of modern day living whereas power, deadly conflict, and monsters are not related.)Gon has finally come to deny the fact that he is a closeted guy whose feelings are shut tight inside his heart. Queer and dying to explore more of his surfacing homosexuality, Gon would need to tell someone to ease his confusion. Without knowing, his best friend Killua had already noticed and is trying to discreetly help Gon whilst battling his own demons.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	1. Closeted, Denial, Scared

**Author's Note:**

> Reader Discretion: We know that Gon and Killua are about 15-16 years old young. This story will be a bit Rated R in some areas as the two are going to be exploring their sexuality and how they can actually conclude their feelings with one another. If you are not into BL, this isn’t the story for you. If you are a fujoshi or fudashi, feel free to read the story and enjoy!

CHAPTER ONE

**GON**

“Gon! Dinner is ready!”

  
“Coming, Mom!”

  
I hope mom Mito won’t ask how I got home so late. It’s been a mentally draining day for me. My heart is kind of constricted and in doubt. A girl confessed to me. She gave me a letter that said to meet her in the school gym after class dismissals. She was beautiful and smart. I was lucky that a girl like her would date a complete student who only thinks about athletics. I’m not that smart. I guess you could say I’m an idiot. However, I didn’t feel anything about her confession. You would probably guess that it’s normal if you don’t reciprocate the feelings. I wasn’t that stupid. I was confused and scared.

  
When I listened and looked at her, I wish her hair was shorter and I wish her voice was deeper. I wish she was wearing the same uniform as me. That thought gave me adrenaline, excitement, and pain.

  
I was wishing for her to be a boy. The very thought of a boy confessing to me made my blood rush to my cheeks. I was adamant that I was different.  
After I rejected her and said my apologies, I immediately went to my favorite convenient store. They sold some popsicles that I really loved to eat whenever I feel sad or depressed.

  
The most embarrassing part was that Killua saw me sulking at the nearby park that was a few blocks away from my home. He just looked at me and didn’t say a word. Although I wish he did. The anxiety was eating me inside and out. If only I had the courage and the guts to confide in him that I might be into boys.

  
I was just scared to admit it. I was scared to admit that I have feelings for the opposite sex. The last straw was the girl and I just realized that I can’t deny it anymore. Because of this secret, I can’t deny the way I would feel when I look at boys on how they’d look at girls. I was scared for my best friend, Killua, to abandon me. He would think my thoughts would never be the same again. He would feel scared knowing a guy like me would fall for him. I had the feeling that I already have but I bottled up my feelings.

  
But I can’t shake the words he said..

  
_“Is it time already, Gon?”_

“Gon? Your dinner is getting cold.” Mom Mito snapped me back from my reverie and I had to slap my cheeks lightly. My mind was getting fuzzy. I can’t think straight.

  
“Oh, sorry.” I don’t want to worry Mom Mito. Despite being cared for by her since I was little because dad went away for his archeology work in Egypt, I was too scared to express my confusion and thoughts. I’m not too sure myself. I can’t let her notice.

  
“By the way, your grandmother will stay here starting two days from now. I worry for her being away in the outskirts. She is old after all. I love that place since your father and I were born and raised there but trying to get out of the comfort zone gives you lots of opportunities and insights in life.” Mom Mito drinks her cup of tea.  
Comfort zone, huh? I can’t get out of it for now.

  
“Oh yeah, Killua called. I told him you were showering earlier. He just asked how you are. Does this have to do with why you are late?”

  
Killua, why!

  
“No, nothing. Nothing at all, mom Mito.” I laughed nervously and picked up my plate, “I’ll be studying. Thanks for the food.”

  
“Gon, wait.”

  
I put my plate on the sink and turned to look at her.

  
“If something is troubling you, don’t be shy to tell your mom Mito. Okay?” Mom Mito smiled and I smiled back at her. I smiled with my happiest and widest smile.

  
“Sure!”

  
\--  
 _“Is it time already, Gon?”_

  
_“What do you mean? And should you be home by now?”_

  
_“It’s okay to tell me, Gon. I won’t judge you.”_

  
_“Huh? Tell you what?” I chuckled and he came closer with a firm look. He was being serious._

  
_“Stop denying. I’ve already noticed.” Killua hugged me tight and I pushed him away instantly. I was scared. His body heat scared me. It was an unusual feeling. I can’t. My whole body shook and I cried. Sobbing tears just dripped and my heart was torn to pieces._

  
_I can’t look at him in the eye anymore. It feels weird. It feels really weird. I’m scared. I’m so scared. What will he think of me just pushing him like that?_

  
\--

  
I woke up by the sound of my pen and notebook hitting the floor. I jolted up a bit and looked around. My lamp was still on. I noticed that I’ve fallen asleep in the middle of my homework. Then I dreamt of earlier. At the park, Killua knew. I think he knows. I just can’t tell him.

  
I’ll forget what happened. I want things to be normal again. I want things to be okay. I want these doubtful feelings gone. I feel so dazed and wavering. I fear if I came out of the closet that I won’t be able to cope and adapt to the environment I fear the most.


	2. Killua, You Idiot!

**GON**

Thank goodness I finished my homework. Even though I had a rough time sleeping earlier, I think studying helped me keep my mind off things. I wonder though. How can I face the people today? I can’t believe I was that depressed. I must not give up that easily. I’m a fighter! Yeah.. That’s what I am. I can do this. I just have to be my normal self. I can lie through my teeth and pretend everything is okay.

“Good morning, Gon!”

“Good morning, Mrs. Ko!” I greeted my 55 years old lady neighbor who was up early watering her mini garden. I like her. She makes great cookies and I always looked forward to them whenever she decides to make and give them to her nearby neighbors.

I feel like walking to school early. The sun is shining nicely and it’s a waste to not indulge in it. Ah, the morning breeze feels so great too. I feel so rejuvenated. My bag pack doesn’t feel that much heavy. My back hurt as I woke up because I slept on my desk again. It got a bit sore.

As of now, I’m just looking around the houses in my neighborhood. I feel at ease though I’m mainly anxious. The neighbors seem nice. They know me for being the happy-go-lucky and cheery kid. I just wondered if their perception of me would change. Did they ever thought that maybe.. I might be someone who would not fall for their daughters but for their sons?!

“AHH! IT SUCKS!” I got so annoyed that I messed my hair up. Sighing, I try to calm down my nerves. I need to figure out whether this is just a phase or not.

As I’m walking down the street to my school, I thought about telling Killua. I guess it’s awkward between us at the moment. It was because I pushed him last night. I hope he could forgive me. I’m planning to tell him and want him to help me. I must experiment. I want to know if I do truly like boys rather than girls!

\--

**KILLUA**

Gon, have you finally realized it now?

Looking at you from afar, you might never know what I feel for you. No matter how close we are, there is always this secret inside me of me that I cannot tell you.

Gon, you are my light. I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.

“Killua! I found you! You might fall! Come down!”

“You seem to be okay. I was curious why you had to push me last night.” I was on top of an old tree in the backyard of our school.

“I was just rejecting a girl, that’s all. I was sad about it but you had to make things worse.” Gon pouted madly and I laughed.

Gon, you make me so happy. I’m scared that if you lose yourself, I might lose you too.

“That’s whyyyyy.. Mr. Po-pu-lar.” I stuck my tongue to mock him and he threw his shoe at me, “ow! Stop! I might seriously fall!”

“Then I’ll catch you come on!” Gon raised his hands instantly without hesitation. My eyes widened. This was too embarrassing for me.

Catch me huh?

I smirked and jumped from the branch. I heard Gon gasped loudly but I landed a few meters away from him swiftly. I turned my back on him and sighed. I didn’t want to turn around. I don’t want Gon to see my face at the moment.

“You have no filter, haven’t you? So embarrassing.”

“How was that embarrassing?” Gon caught the shoe as I returned it to him by throwing it.

“That’s what I like about you.” I sighed mockingly to conceal what I really felt inside.

“K-Killua.. Um, I need to tell you something.”

Ah, the million-dollar issue.

“Gon, no.”

“No, Killua, um.. I feel like I like bo—”

“Gon.”

\--

**GON**

Why is the air so tensed up?

I want to drill it into his mind that I like boys.

“Killua, listen to me—” No. What am I thinking? I feel scared again. So what if I tell Killua? Would he understand? Would he force himself to understand me?

“Gon, you like boys?”

Huh. Did he notice?

He turns around with his cold but warm look. His eyes piercing through me. I stood frozen in my spot.

“So would you like me too?”

What kind of question is that!

“I didn’t say—”

“Do you like me?”

Is he insane?! I wasn’t implying to him!

“I like you but as a friend!” I retorted. He came closer. I felt a lump in my throat that was hard to swallow.

“Gon—”

“KILLUA YOU IDIOTTTTTTT!!”

I ran away as fast as I could. I don’t want to hear from him ever again!!


	3. You Really Are A Handful!

**GON**

What am I doing with my life?

I ran away again. I should really stop doing that.

At the moment, I’m hiding under a staircase. It’s kind of abandoned at this part of the school. I swear, I’m going to die out of embarrassment! I must confront Killua again. I need serious help!

“There you are, Gon.”

AHHHH!

I hit my head under the stairs. I fervently rubbed my scalp and looked at my right. Killua was just smirking and chuckling.

“Running away twice is never going to solve anything.” Killua sighs and he waved his hand to let me scoot to the side. I obeyed and scooted over to the left. He sat next to me and began playing with his metal pen that he always carries with him. He usually hangs it on his collar.

There was silence. It was loud and overbearing at the same time. My ears were ringing a bit and it got a bit painful when prolonged. Killua closed his eyes and just stayed rooted on his spot. I was mostly burying my chin on my knees. I just looked at him—all peaceful and collected. I can’t hear no ragged breathing.

His silver hair and pale skin really suits him. I just realized that. Now I can’t ignore it.

“Killua I—”

“Sorry, you aren’t my type.” Killua pouted and looked at me with a smirk.

I looked at him with wide eyes and I laughed normally. He also laughed with me and smirked widely.

I just realized no matter what, he won’t change. I won’t change.

“You realized, Killua?” I asked calmly and seriously.

“I won’t say I realized.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think you are just curious, Gon. You never really had romantic relationships or ideas before. I think you need to explore.” Killua raised a finger to make a point.

I think so. I’m not that sure myself. However, it’s true that I haven’t had any romantic relationships with people before.

“What you mean is.. Should I confess to the girl and try to date her to see?”

Killua choked on his own saliva.

“WHAT? WHY?”

“I can’t? You told me to explore, right? It won’t hurt to try, right?”

“I mean! Yeah.. It’s just..” Killua scratched the back of his neck, “too sudden..”

“I guess you’re right..” How would I feel if Killua just told me that he might be into boys? Would I feel taken aback? Shocked? Scared? I know I will keep trusting him because he is my best friend. If he is in pain of his identity, I’d be sure to help him. I believe that is what he is doing right now. No matter what, I know Killua has my back.

“You aren’t scared of me, Killua?”

“Why should I be? You’re my friend, Gon.” Killua held out his hand, “shake on it. I promise to help you in any way.”

I looked at his hand and smiled warmly. In the first place, why did I feel like this? I don’t recall the subtle revelation but I think it all started when I was 14. Sure, I had my fair share on dating some girls but I didn’t feel anything. I simply liked being in their accompany but it felt wrong. I didn’t have that connection with them. Ever since then, I have been looking at boys rather than girls. Somehow in my mind, I’ve been trying to find someone and I’m pretty sure he is a he. I can’t remember him.

“Gon, come on.” Killua smiled at me and I gasped a little under my breath.

Somehow that certain someone smiled like Killua but I know it isn’t him.

“Thanks, I’ll get all the help I need!” I shook on Killua’s hand. I’m lucky to have him as my best friend.

Killua and I became friends when I was 14. We’ve been friends for almost two years now.

\--

**KILLUA**

It’s dark now. I don’t want to go home. I’m afraid that bastard is going to be there.

Illumi.

I haven’t given up yet, big brother. I haven’t forgotten what you did to me a few years ago.. What you did to Gon.. To us.

I’ll do whatever it takes to protect us from you. I swear I will.

Gon is my light.

“Killua! Let’s go to the ramen shop! It’s a bit early. You wouldn’t mind, right?” Gon waved at me by the school entrance. We have separate classes in the afternoon. Mind me telling you, it’s quite a bummer.

“Sure, but you’re paying for it. I left my wallet at home.” I pushed his shoulder lightly.

“Ehhhh why!”

“You’re the one who is asking me to join you!”

“I figured you’d pay for us.” Gon laughed nervously and I scoffed.

“Sneaky!”

Gon, you really are a handful. I can tell you that.


End file.
